sick and tired...

Lately I have felt like my brother is slowing removing himself from out family. We use to be so close, and it seems like we just keep getting farther and farther apart. For several years he moved back and forth between my mom and my dads. They would always hound him about getting a job or going back to college, or complain about the things he was doing, so whenever Chris and I finally got a place together, I eventually let him move in. At first, it was just a way for him to get away from everything and to be himself. He had a job shortly after he moved in with us in November of '06, and everything was working out great. He would pay me 5o dollars every two weeks which was fine with me because he didnt make a lot of money and that was a third of the rent. Chris and my brother hadnt always gotten along, and they started becoming friends. Then, one of my so-called friends, Tabbatha, got out of prison and she had come over to my house one time to hang out. It wasnt too long before she started coming over for Let, and not to be my friend. She was pregnant with someone else's child, but my brother didnt seem to care, they were getting along pretty good, and eventually he started staying at her house. It lasted a month before she couldnt pay the bills, and she too ended up moving in with Chris and I. Tabbatha and I were both pregnant at the time, me due in July, and her in September... everything was going great, and then out of no where my brother starts talking about getting married to her. They hadnt even been together 4 months... and she was having someone else's child that he was ready to claim as his own. I noticed what kind of a person she really was while she was living with us. She would flip out if he wasnt home from work at the exact time that she thought he was suppose to be. And, they still ended up getting married in July. They also continued to live with us. I had Chase, then Tabbatha had Brianna, and things kept on getting worse, she would make him stay back in their bedroom, it was like I couldnt even talk to my brother and we lived in the same house. His excuse would always be that she didnt want to watch whatever we were watching on tv, or something like that... she felt bad and wanted to lay down. Then we moved into a different place, and we didnt have tv in the room that they stayed in, and she still made him stay in that room with her ALL the time. In November of '07 they moved out and since then I probably havent seen my brother but about 15 times. He lives in the same town, but he ignores my phone calls, or when I do get an answer it is her answering his phone and she always ask me what I want to talk to him about... if I wanted to talk to her I would call her phone. He use to always, ALWAYS play with Nicholas... and Nicholas loved him... its gotten to the point that Nicholas doesnt even talk about him anymore because he doesnt see him. Let was so excited about him starting tball, and he was going to help him practice and come see him play and all kinds of stuff... he came to one practice, and he came to his first tball game. Everytime I call him and tell him about another game, he is either too tired or he has plans to go out with Tabbatha... but he can still make time to go spend time with her daughter. Its like my brother isnt my brother anymore. He is the only sibling that I have, and its like hes not even there, and right now I feel is a time when I need him the most. He is always rude and hateful whenever I talk to him on the phone... but she acts like everything is okay. I sometimes just wonder if she wants him to stay away from his family because then she doesnt get all of his attention. Everytime they go over to my moms house, she either acts like she is asleep or says that she has a headache or something. I feel like my brother is almost gone... and he doesnt even care.

just for fun

I have a lot of things to say, but dont want many people to read. There are too many people on myspace for it to be private. PLUS KANDICE has one, and I have to be able to comment on hers, right? Of course! I dont really blog much because I dont like a lot of people knowing how I feel, but since I dont know anyone besides Kandice that has one, mainly she will be the only person reading this blog. uoy evol I! I might have more to say later, when I get to talk/argue with my husband!